My dog can get away with a French bath for weeks. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to get what she wants without opening her mouth. Does your kid?

My dog knows the importance of a Bloody Mary. Does your kid?

My three-year-old dog loves brussel sprouts. Does your kid?

On the 4th, my dog can hold a sparkler in her mouth and not flinch. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to celebrate Father's Day. Does your kid?

When my dog craves smoked bluefish pâté, she sits like a lady and waits for it to come to her. Does your kid?