On the 4th, my dog can hold a sparkler in her mouth and not flinch. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to celebrate Father's Day. Does your kid?

When my dog craves smoked bluefish pâté, she sits like a lady and waits for it to come to her. Does your kid?

During a high-speed chase by the police, my dog will sit still in a convertible. Will your kid?

My dog protects me from scary creatures like this. Would your kid?

This is what my dog does while I'm on a client call. And your kid?

My dog plans a month in advance for the Kentucky Derby. Does your kid?