This is what my dog does while I'm on a client call. And your kid?

My dog plans a month in advance for the Kentucky Derby. Does your kid?

Not only can my dog HUNT DOWN and KILL a bunny, she can do it while wearing bunny ears. Can your kid?

Jesus kids are dumb.

So today I was walking Ruby around the block and Tommy or Timmy or whatever was out front of his house. The father was there too. It came as no surprise to me that the father speaks with a very heavy German accent. Kid and Father asked me what "race" Ruby was. "Ummmmm, I think you mean breed Hitler." Assholes.

My dog can enjoy a pint of Guinness on St. Paddy's Day. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to dress for the rain. Does your kid?

My dog can keep keep herself happy for hours chewing on something bigger than her head. Can your kid?