Not only can my dog HUNT DOWN and KILL a bunny, she can do it while wearing bunny ears. Can your kid?

Jesus kids are dumb.

So today I was walking Ruby around the block and Tommy or Timmy or whatever was out front of his house. The father was there too. It came as no surprise to me that the father speaks with a very heavy German accent. Kid and Father asked me what "race" Ruby was. "Ummmmm, I think you mean breed Hitler." Assholes.

My dog can enjoy a pint of Guinness on St. Paddy's Day. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to dress for the rain. Does your kid?

My dog can keep keep herself happy for hours chewing on something bigger than her head. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to dress for the Oscars. Does your kid?

My dog hates the bathtub. But will stand there and be lovely. Will your kid?

Facing the unknown my dog is still on board. And your kid?

Even after three needles in the neck, my dog is still happy and looking for doctor. And your kid?

My dog can go to bed with her necklace on. Can your kid?

That Dog Don't Hunt.

This morning, walking around the block with other dogs and owners, a deer ran in front of us. Ruby, bless her heart, looked at the pack running, then to me, then to the pack and back. NO. I told her. You will NOT hunt and run away. She was the only dog that stayed with us the whole time. We then spent the better part of an hour getting all the others back. My dog has learned to read the tone of my voice. Has your kid?

My dog can use her ears as a bonnet. Can your kid?