My dog can clean her whole face with her tongue. Can your kid?

My dog is a true Pats fan. Is your kid?

My dog can get away with a French bath for weeks. Can your kid?

My dog knows how to get what she wants without opening her mouth. Does your kid?

My dog knows the importance of a Bloody Mary. Does your kid?

My three-year-old dog loves brussel sprouts. Does your kid?

On the 4th, my dog can hold a sparkler in her mouth and not flinch. Can your kid?